I walked into work today and my boss was standing in the backroom with his shirt off. The baker was standing behind him rubbing some kind of ointment into his back. My boss said to me:
“Matt, I’m sorry that you were accidentally fired last week. As you know we’ve been having some hard times and I had to clean fucking house. You were accidentally swept into that shit. I apologize, you’re a very important part of the team. To show you how serious I am, I’m going to hook you up with a $0.25 pay increase once you completely finish your online training. Not everyone is getting this, so don’t tell anyone or I will be forced to let you go.”
I nodded and as I passed behind him I saw what the baker was rubbing ointment into. It was a full color tattoo of a dragon/tiger that ran the length of his back along the ribs. The artist had messed up though, the tiger was a mess of dark blue ink, like it had gone too deep into the skin and seeped out and all around. The whole tattoo was dangerously red and swollen.
This is how I received my modest raise.
